Saturday, October 13, 2012

Social skills and wisdom of life (Important to learn all over the world)

Love the nature! Finns do not have much history of high culture but Finns have roots strongly in the wide northern forests and small lakes. That is seen as bringing healthy kind of influence to all life. You can achieve largely the same with the following "trick", also in all other matters than just social skills and wisdom of life.
Look at a healthy growing tree when you think about social things or about your life, especially when you think about social tangles. Choose the courses of action that feel most natural and everyday like when you look at the tree. Looking at a tree or a forest view while you ponder about your life brings you emotional wisdom that you can follow in your daily life.

World's best problem solving method (Important to learn all over the world)

 The ruleis something like: One is allowed to be selfish in ways positive for happy life but not to disturb the lives of others - except fairly to prevent them from disturbing others unfairly.

I do not know how all-European this traditional Finnish speaking Finnish (saying/)behaviour rule referred by the non-literal words "Live and let others Live!" but it is surely worth copying! It gives a maximal amount of freedom of everyone, completely according to their own likings, at the same time as it gives perfect moral for purely selfish individuals concerned mainly about their own life but who have a holistic rational view of the world and of the
society's workings.
The rule "Live and let other Live!" means that you can yourself live as freely as you allow others to live in the society - that means the others who follow the rule "Live and let others Live!". If you to some extend disturb people who follow the saying, you own room to affect things and to live in is shrunk on that respect, preventing the harm and making you think that you might want more room and so be motivated to living in harmony. That means that evil is not allowed to affect lives (of anybody else than the evil one oneself) but nice moral things are allowed to affect fully and supported in order to get better life for all! But one does not need to accept some influence because someone else says it is nice, instead there is the need to be moral and the freedom tofollow one's own likings.
It is a good rule. Maybe You have it already! Please learn to use it for happy life and a prosperous society, if it is not so widely known...

About the rule in all social relationships, please read http://yksinaisille.blogspot.fi/2012/03/build-perfect-relationship.html

Observe that this rule is roughly "Room for happy life!" and is akin to justice and caring the world to such that it is good to live in happily. It is not saying that one should not kill anybody. It means that if fair play and the happiness in the society or in the wide world so demands, you are supposed to prevent evil ones (and utterly stupid ones) from harming others unfairly, also if it means war, killing or the like, but of course one must see the situation as a whole, the good and bad sides of each tactic and choose with wisdom.

There is this same rule without any exception in all relationships, including mother-child-relationships, dating (Try for example in competitors in love, their kids and other responsibilities), friendship, hate, not caring attitude etc. Largely other rules are not needed, except lots of common sense, healthy spirit and a good understanding and at least some good will toward all.

An important application of this rule are the relationships between countries and between groups which may compete fiercely. It is also a good rule to build the society upon.

It often happens with this rule that the problems disappear as if they had vanished to the thin air.
Typically some woman (a wise one) or some nice man says "Go and enjoy yourself. Do not be bothered by them. You do not need to disturb them if you go to some other place or to some other people." and so the person in conflict does so and finds so room for him/her to live his/her own life without conflict with the others.

The goal is something like "We live our lives and let them live theirs." But the other side of the rule is how to get it to apply, how to force it upon people who do not follow it. And that is if they break against justice disturbing the lives of others unfairly, their own room to live in is shrunk similarly and they are prevented from harming others unfairly. But where they live ok, they can fairly keep their space to live in. Typically in this the rest of the society caring about that people would follow the rule, is important. Also some wisdom of life makes this work better than too little understanding about quality of life, social relationships and the workings of the society.

If this rule isn't familiar to you and you don't know how to take it into use or even if you want to use it or not, please try it out in your mind: figure out what it is like in each situation and how following it would affect things. It is a very useful rule, somaybe you like it too, it is quite easy when you have first learned it in each type of situation.

If you in some occasion don't feel like yur feelings coming along in letting others have so much room and preferably happiness too, you have propably not applied the rule enough to yourself: so be more selfcentered, think about what your own life need in a situation like this and see if you can arrange freedom and happiness for both yourself and for others, for yourself you need to take care of it and for others just leave room for them and they themselves with their friends arrange for themselves without feeling it being a burden of some kind.

This rule works also if there are lots of murders http://healthilymoral.blogspot.fi/2016/10/live-and-let-others-live-also-if-there.html

In care professions, like for example medicine, it is important to follow good enough understanding, good enough moral and be honest about what is a lie, a habit or an unsure supposion. But with wider consequencies taken fally into account this rule applies there too: the patients and others cared for should be allowed to decide fully about their need for care and about the decisions in their care: that is their life, their own influence to the world and those in care professions should not mess with it, giving excuses for crimes. It is especially important to let those live freely who are moral and so carry the burden of keeping the world in a good state, for example some parts of the society.

This rule works well for example in the negotiations between different groups. You do not need always say aloud that things are according to this rule. It is enough if your suggestions are such that when other groups check them, they find that those are ok for them, so they can easily agree to support them, and likewise for your own groups too. But on the long run it is good for people to learn the rule, so that their own suggestions are all right for others too.

Following this rule in decisions, courses taken, judgements etc makes police and justice system and government also easy to agree about, but you do not need to refer to this rule, but more likely explain things in terms of law, needs, objective thoughts, common sense, experience, fair play, carrying responsibility, freedom, etc and then when the other person checks whether it is ok for him/her, it is according to this rule and so easy to agree about, and kind of makes it easier to think of these kinds of things if one has good enough understanding, wisdom wisdom of life, healthy spirit, good will and responsibility about the coming generations etc.




Horse running in an arch, a model of free life according to feelings, a horse knit picture

Animals and somehumans too learn this rule easily by comparing people (and animals) to the trees in a park: each one has one's branches sovereign, lives freely according to one's emotions so, but does not mess with the branches of others, isn't allowed to do so. But one can offer available things that people like, like for example a song in the radio, in a radio station which specializes to that type of music so that people can choose according to their likings whether they listent o it or not.






Thinking with a view of the whole (Important to learn all over the world)

I have made a short course in common sense like holistic objective
thinking that could be used in the media, see the thinking course at
http://www.angelfire.com/planet/paradisewins/THOUSANDFOLD_INTELLIGENCE_AND_SKILL_EASILY.pdf
and (preferably read this before the thinking course) a list of errors to avoid at
http://www.angelfire.com/planet/paradisewins/thinkingerrorstoavoid.html

The same thinking course can be found in my blog http://quickerlearning.blogspot.fi 

 I copy it here:

* * *

"
Learn The Basics Of

HOLISTIC OBJECTIVE
THINKING EASILY!


PART I
MAKING PERCEPTIONS, ARRANGING THE MEMORY AND GOING THROUGH WHAT ONE THUS HAS MEMORIZED

1.
Thinking consists of noticing things, so objective thinking is very much like using the senses.
What is thinking? Thinking means forming a correct picture of the world. Thinking is based on undisturbed perceptions: “This is like this and that is like that.”
Thinking is not based on words, terms or concepts. Instead objective thinking is based on ordinary sensory perceptions and on memories of sensory perceptions.
Based on our experience of life we form a picture of our living environment with its human relationships. So the base, the starting point for all thinking, are one’s perceptions, one’s memories of what the world is like, of what our everyday life is like.

2.
Gardening mode: think in practical ways as if you were sensing the things in your memory or imagination.

The best way for making perceptions for the purposes of objective thinking, is to do like one who enjoys gardening does: a concretical clearly sensed nearest environment, where you can use all of your senses to feel the things in it, maybe touch them and try them; plus an awareness of the whole landscape that one is working in: the garden and the wider landscape.
Similarly it is very good in thinking if you can from your memory imagine the things to think about as a very concretical picture in front of you, where you can best watch it and try it, at the same time as you are aware of the place of those things in the world.
You have kind of zoomed yourself to the environment of that subject in your picture of the world so that you can make as clear perceptions as ever: “This thing I see clearly, but about that thing I cannot know because it isn’t in my picture.”

3.
A holistic view of the world: here I live, there is the shop, and so on; future rising to the air and one’s experiencies of life as a trail on that map: here was I at each moment.

Arrange your experiencies of life with the help of the sense of sight to form a map of the whole world.  Some parts of the map you know well – they are described by your experience of life – and some you do not know at all: those are left blank.
“Here I am sitiing, there is a stool below
me, a table in front, the window over there and the door over there, behind the door a corridor via which I came here,… Outside there is the street. Via it, so and so, I can reach home. My home I know likewise but more detailedly. The shop nearest my home in on another street around a corner, the homes of the friends of my kids there near by and the park close by…” Build this way a map of the whole world. Place all things that you know at their right places in that map, like you via your experiencies know them to be. Add to this the official map of the nearest environment, of the whole district, up to the level of the whole globe. This way you have all the world in the same picture!
The past you can place underground, the lower the further away in time it is, and future up into the air. This way you can see the track of your experiencies find its way in the landscape, rising upwards all the way to the ground level, while the future is left up into the air.

4.
You can think of anything in your picture of the world, if you zoom into it and its environment.

You can see any place in your picture of the world if you zoom to that place in your map, and you can see the whole world at the same time when you zoom out to the large scale map of the whole globe.
This way you have one single correct picture of the world, with sizes and proportions right, which is a very good starting point for your objective thinking and in itself already much of what objective thinking aims at: an objective picture of the whole world!

5.
If you want to think about a certain thing in the whole, colour it momentarily so that it rises to meet the eye and is so easy to notice without losing sight of its place in the whole.

When you then need to, or you want to think about something, clolour it momentarily with some colour that you find easy enough to notice, and take a look at it as if you were gardening, like I adviced you before. This way you see both the thing in question and its place in the world, which is very good for youyr understanding.

6.
A gliding glance and forming a holistic view: do not let your glance jump at all!

In these instructions it is the idea to handle all thoughts at the same time, so that you can get everything handled at once and do not need to get stuck in some endless mosaic of things for example as if you were thinking by words.
One who has been highly educated thinking advances slowly and carefully from one piece of information to the next, kind of lets one’s glance glide along the regularities of the thought subject and takes care to not to let one’s glance ever jumb – not even if the one that one talks with would be prone to thought jumbs. This is so because with every jump one easily loses the thread, the idea of one’s thoughts and so the trustworthiness of one’s thoughts is lost too.
So let the focus of your eyes glide along the subject that you think about, at the same time as you form a holistic view of the subject and about its role in the world – just like you would do if you met the things in the life in the living, visited some place or whatever.
This is one of the basic skills in objective thinking, one of its basic rules. From the thus formed holistic landscape like view of the things that you think about, you will later see clearly how thigs are.




PART II
HANDLING THE HOLISTIC VIEW

7.
A nature view at the background helps you to conceive complex things.

Sometimes things get too complicated. At those times it is good if you can imagine a seen nature landscape or even a single detailed tree at the background of your thoughts, so that you can compare the thought to the much much much more complex nature view which is still easy to conceive. In other words, you place each detail of your thought next to some detail of the nature landscape, look first at the nature view and then as if there was nothing special to it, you look at the nature view’s style at the thought as if the thought were simple too – and it has thus become simple!

8.
Concretical fact associations are an easy organised way to change from one subject to another and a way to arrange your picture of the whole.

You get your picture of the whole world arranged in practical ways if you use concretical fact associations to move about in it: our farm -> our tractor -> its repairwork laterly and in the near future -> the maney that the repair works cost -> the farming equipment shop -> what our neighbour bought last time from there -> his tractor -> their family altogether -> what we have like them and what different -> how each person lives in one’s own way -> the rainbow of life -> what is important in life -> happiness, and avoiding catastrophes -> understanding helping in reaching for one’s goals in life.




PART III
DEDUCTION, IN OTHER WORDS: MAKING PERCEPTIONS BASED ON YOUR EXPERIENCE OF LIFE ABOUT THINGS THAT YOU HAVE NOT EXPERIENCED:

9.
Make generalisations and find things from your memory as if you were finding all spots of a certain colour or form from your environment:
all such things in your vocabulary
(-> finding words)
or in your objective picture of the world
(-> putting things to an objective form)
or in what is available to build from
(-> finding solutions).


Once you have mastered
all the other pieces of advice here
and reached very rational holistic objectivity, this is where you can
develop in intelligence and creativity.

10.
Check where do things apply.

If you want to know things that you have no experience of, you will have to make generalisations and see where they apply, where they at least do not apply – and what would apply there?!
You generalise something by taking some single characteristics of it and by paying attention only to them. For example: cats see well in dark -> seeing well in dark -> Well, if you see well in dark, you notice in darkness things that others with poorer eyesight cannot notice. -> Usefulness in hunting and in survival.
Now compare your generalisation to all the cases that you can find from your picture of the world: were your generalisation right? If not, you have typically forgotten to mention some important detail (“all animals whole eyes are healthy”). Fix it.
It is easiest to generalise very sure common sense truths, since the basic things of life are essential also in the world at large. Like: I need food. -> All people need food in order to stay alive. -> So arranging food for all is one of the most important questions in the whole world.




PART IV
PROBLEM SOLVING:

11.
From a holistic view to details: what you need for a solution, where you could build it from, do you have those blocks, build it!

Many people try to solve problems by trying what they could build from a certain set of available building blocks. If they do not succeed, they give up. An easier and more efficient way to solve problems is to solve them solution centeredly: Think what you would need for the solution, what kind of structures – you can lift them up from your memory by associations – and what you could build them from – that too you can do by lifting the possible types of building blocks from your memory. Then just build it! This way you know what you need and how you can get it and so you are not wasting your time!

12.
One cannot reach one’s thinking ability or objectivity by copying school like looks.

Humans have via the natural evolution adabted to a life in a close contact with the nature. So also our thinking ability gets support from doing practical work (-> gardening mode), using our senses (-> accurate perceptions) and our natural sense of place (-> a map). So objectivity cannot be reached by copying the looks of schooled thinkers or of the town environment. It has to be reached by living in harmony with our sensing nature which builds so a picture of the environment.
School likedness has gotten its main charachteristics from the written text, not from thinking. And the written word is just a means of marking things up. It is not a means of thinking!

 13.
Do not think by words. Think instead by the memories of experiencies and by holistic pictures!

Words are just a tool for communication. Words are not a way of thinking. Instead all our observations are made by the senses, by the feelings and sensations.
Words break things to an endless mosaic that one gets lost to. It looks complicated but it is not good for thinking.
One who thinks by words is like one who has an extremely narrow tunnel like eyesight: For example take a cartoon cylinder from which you can see through one thing at a time, like as if described by a word. It makes an enormous mosaic of even simple things, like your own room. But if you look wirthout such tunnel sight, without the cartoon cylinder, you can see everything at once and so understand much more via using such holistic pictures in your thinking instead of the tiny words.

14.
Relax!

Sometimes one’s head is dizzy and it is difficult to think. That is often connected to tensing the middle part of your body, especially the neck, the shoulders, the back and the stomach area. So just relax in an alive way: exercise, stretch or whatever. Try to make your social reklationshgips friendlier and less formal because that relaxes you profoundly, making you happier, more intelligent and wiser. Do not consider thinking hard work but think with enthusiasm!
You will remember things easier if you can emphatize with the point of view that you were using when you memorized the things. Emphaty too works better with a relaxed body and makes also your social skills better.
You cen remember things better if you are sincerely interested in the subject.

15.
Remember to carry responsibility!

A sense of direction or a compass is for a traveller more important than speed. So pay attention especially to your choice of goals and valuyes that you follow. That affects your life much more than intelligence (speed) in itself!

MOTTO FROM FINLAND: “I love Life in happiness,  like You too! So I take happy Life as my value in the world at large…”




PART V
A MAP OF THE WORLD & DIRECTIONS

Thinking forms a picture of the world for you. That is a map of the world.
Feelings mark what things in it mean to life: strong negative feelings mark things to avoid, while strong positive feelings mark things to reach for. (Be fair!)
An atmosphere
is a landscape with feelings connected to the phenomena in it: “There is a huge storm cloud coming, let’s run for shelter!” Look separately at each cause of feelings to see what that phenomenom or that class of phenomena mean to life. The seen landscape in the atmosphere gives objective sizes and objective structure to the (relationships of) the phenomena in the landscape.
Atmospheres offer a natural quick and accurate way to think objectively.


EXTRA:
LEARNING THE BASICS OF SOCIAL SKILLS AND OF ANY OTHER SKILL:
You can of course learn them in the ordinary way: by memorizing the advices of others, but there is also another way: you can observe things yourself. That means keeping your eyes open, paying attention to what stays constant, what changes and how, according to which factors and in which ways: just sense, let your sensations form a landscape from which you see by your eyes how things are, you should be engulfed by the experience, so you will know what is what and how things are. The deeper your attention, the better you will notice things. Do not make school like forms out of what you have noticed but let it stay as a pleasant experience instead!
You get BUILDING BLOCKS: a stone, sea, sun, a bird flying,... and STRUCTURES:
there is a huge stone by the sea side and a bird flying in the sun above the
water... Those are your understanding of the thing in question, those are your
thinking. Similarly, if it is a question of your own action, you can conceive parts: thinking, feelings, moving, social side of things, the sense of sight,... and their relationships, structures that they form: If I use my sense of sight in thinking this way, I can think very clearly! Similarly you can conceive both your own action and the landscape that you act in: “Here am I using my muscles and a strong motivation to lift the stone by the sea side...”






In addition please read and loearn these:


Getting Rid of Thinking Errors

Everybody has naturally a good thinking ability. It is just drowned in a mass of thinking errors. Once you get rid of thinking eroors, you naturally find a good common sense like thinking ability underneath.
The most usua thinking errors include:
* putting things to a word like form
* putting edges to thoughts, to experiences, to your own being etc. Just leave the edges away and let each thing have the place in teh world that it naturally has.
* copying the square forms, straight lines etc of the build environment. Instead look at a living healthy tree while you think (it is complex and not word like in it's forms.), but not at an apple tree since it's branches are cut and bent to an unnatural form.
* Reaching for thinking like or educated looks in thoughts is an error, instead of letting the just be exactly like the reality that they try to descrtibe.
* Pretending or acting that you think or are clever instead of putting your energy to humbly just thinking things through.
* Do not replace your always new thoughts with memorized thoughts and formal ways.
* Tensing the neck, shoulders and even the whole body slows down thinking extremely much, even almost stops any new views from entering your mind to an as long times as you stay tense. Sports bring a relaxed reactive body that is better for thinking too.
* You must choose your goals and values with your very best thinking ability and not just cunn with a stupid head, since your goals and values affect the most where you will end up.

Some additional observations:
* Don't be theory-based in your observations. Do not ask yourself: "Is this a door, or is this a wheel? What is it?" since that is kind of replacing your observations by words. Instead let your observations be just like you sense those things: "This is like this. And that is like that."
* If you are not up to the level of somebody else, avoid doing anything extra on top of the things that the other one does: for example looking manly, acting educated, reaching for some style in thoughts or otherwise. Also, if the other one is clearly better than you are, avoid dropping away things that you consider needless to do since it often is that such differencies in preferencies in what to do and what to avoid, cause the differencies in skills and intelligence: the other one just knows the value of atmospheres, beauty, relaxed body, love of the nature, the avoidal of artificialities and nasty things etc.
* Intelligence and skill are questions of what you exactly do, in other words of your way of doing: do you use the eyes, how much at least, is your body reactive, which things you pay special attention to, which you bypass to avoid disturbancies, have you dropped other actions momentarily away, etc.
* Once you have learned some better way to think or to do things, use it in the matters of major importance in your life and in the lives of others and in the world at large.
* The easiest thoughts are clearly seen, so the stupid appear rational. While intelligent thought go quickly and cover vast areas with a good clear view. Intelligent ones seem vague and without form. So do not copy from the most man like in appearance, since they are likely to be more stupid than you are, but instead copy from those who live in healthy ways and do well in skills!"


30th March 2019 in Savonlinna, Finland
It is ok to copy, spread, print and/or publish in morally ok ways this thinking course I have made.
Kaisa Hannele Tervola

3rd of June 2022 in Espoo 
It is ok to freely copy, spread, print and/or publish in morally ok ways this thinking course I have made.
Kaisa Hannele Tervola